prokopetz: fledgling-witch: prokopetz: prokopetz: Some day I’m going to have to come up with a…





Some day I’m going to have to come up with a crack headcanon about what exactly is up with the body types in Hyrule’s royal family.

I mean, yeah, it’s probably just dramatic license, but if you take it as fully diegetic, King Hyrule is a straight up beast of a man.

Ganondorf is Gerudo, so there’s at least some textual justification for him being a lanky ogre-man, but what’s King Hyrule’s excuse?

He’s like eight feet tall, and about three feet broad at the shoulder; his fist is the size of an ordinary man’s head!

And yet his daughter consistently has totally average proportions.

There’s something funny going on with the royal bloodline, is what I’m saying.

@dovsherman replied:

Zelda is very young. Give her another ten or twenty years and she may grow to look a lot more like her father.

Okay, this is hands-down my favourite response, even if it is facetious. I absolutely need to see fanart of a thirtysomething Zelda who’s inherited her father’s inhuman proportions.

We’re thinking all wrong here. This has nothing to do with family bloodline:

In Zelda games, fully grown adult rulers are just bigger than everyone else. You gain a position of authority, and you get big.

The kings of Hyrule? Great big fellas. Ganondorf? Huge. The Zora kings? Gargantuan. The zora queen’s ghost? Far bigger than any living zora in Twilight Princess. Headmaster Gaepora of the Knights’ Academy in Skyloft? Towering.?King Bulbin? Absolute unit. Kaneli, the owl leader of the Rito? Biggest bird in the village. The leader of the ancient robots or the Parellae? Literally dragons. Midna, once restored to her throne? Statuesquely tall. Elderly Impa? The largest Sheikah if you include her hat, which is a moral imperative.

So a Zelda who takes the throne WILL be larger than other Hylians, but not because of genealogy, but because it’s part of the job description. The only possible alternative is that I’m confusing cause and effect and Zelda will never gain political power because of her lack of extreme girth.

Here’s a quick comparison of a typical species member:


And here’s a leader of the same species:


Now there’s a fun idea. I wonder if you gradually grow into it, or whether our hypothetical Queen Zelda will just don the crown and instantly “power up” to full imperial stature, like Mario picking up a mushroom?